Archive for the ‘Movies’ Category

Reading over the reviews for this film have gotten to me. The negative reviews, delivered by the brandy snifterin’ know-n-so’s of the blogerati could not be helped, but what has irritated me the most are the “man of the people” Joe “Bob” Briggs-types who, while still granting a positive review, feel the need to berate anyone who would enjoy a film like this as a “dumb teenage male.” I will have you know that I am somewhere between only one and two of those things (depending on which ex-professor/girlfriend you ask) and I enjoyed the hell out of this film.

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The great thing about posting a review like this on a nerdcentric blog is that I don’t have to waste time defending my beliefs or offering contexts from my youth.  If you are reading a review posted on such a poorly marketed site as the Nerdcore Comedy Tour the odds are you have sought us out because we have a shared history of blowing into NES cartridges and spending sixth period in our lockers. If you are reading this the odds are you will love Scott Pilgrim vs the World. For everyone else who got laid early in life and have had an experience with the game of football not provided by Tecmo®, fuck off. I don’t care if you don’t like this movie, it wasn’t made for you, and I hope all of your children are gay.

Where was I? Oh yes, Scott Pilgrim!

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As the first comic book movie review for the site I believe it is important to set a precedent of honesty and openness, and it is with that in mind that I admit the following.

I am not an Iron Man fanboy.

Iron Man has never interested me in the comics. While he was given the unique twist that his own body, specifically his heart, is his greatest weakness—an Achilles valve that sets him apart in a world of super men— Tony Stark has been a third tier Marvel antique for decades. It wasn’t until the seventies that a creative team did anything remotely memorable with the character and even then we were merely left with an abusive alcoholic grossly unfit for his station.  (Oh yeah, and the concept of specialized armor. ToyBiz says “thanks.”)

(Psst. Don’t worry. I’m going to give it a positive review.)

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SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! Be forewarned: this special episode of the PodCore NerdCast is intended for those that have already viewed Iron Man 2 by whatever means necessary. Recorded mere minutes after a midnight premiere of the film, the Nerdcore Comedy Tour and friends assembled at the “studio” for an open discussion of our immediate reactions. Our favorite moments (many of which catsuit related) are shared and pontificated upon alongside our minor disappointments (none of which catsuit related).

DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS SPOILCAST IF SUCH CANDOR OFFENDS YOU! I’M TOTALLY SERIOUS ABOUT THAT, FOLKS. TOTALLY.

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Spoiler Alerts is my opportunity to give the ending I want to comic book events past, present and future. Sometimes it will be farcical and absurd. Sometimes it might just be wishful thinking. It will always be the right thing to do.

Whiplash is going to kill Iron Man at the end of Iron Man II. I have not seen any leaked footage, I don’t know anybody on the inside and I realize killing a cash cow while it is still producing money is anathema in both Hollywood and comics. But it is going to happen. There is just no way that Robert Downey Jr. can survive even a fictional confrontation with Mickey Rourke.

Mickey Rourke is the baddest man in the history of cinema. He probably would be considered this generation’s Brando if only he wasn’t Bat-Mite fucking crazy. He gained critical acclaim in many movies in the 80’s after stealing the show in “Diner.” (And Steve Guttenberg was in that!) Rumor has it, Rourke even turned down the lead in Barry Levinson’s “Rain Man.”

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