Archive for the ‘Comics’ Category
The great thing about posting a review like this on a nerdcentric blog is that I don’t have to waste time defending my beliefs or offering contexts from my youth. If you are reading a review posted on such a poorly marketed site as the Nerdcore Comedy Tour the odds are you have sought us out because we have a shared history of blowing into NES cartridges and spending sixth period in our lockers. If you are reading this the odds are you will love Scott Pilgrim vs the World. For everyone else who got laid early in life and have had an experience with the game of football not provided by Tecmo®, fuck off. I don’t care if you don’t like this movie, it wasn’t made for you, and I hope all of your children are gay.
Where was I? Oh yes, Scott Pilgrim!
It’s pretty tough to wander off the beaten trail when perusing the comic book selection at a major corporate conglomerate like Barnes and Noble. For the most part when I am jacking for reads at B&N, all I am really doing is keeping up with the infinite company-wide crossover mega-events being put out by the Big Two.
I am way above paying 2.99+ an issue to read a manufactured, transient property like Dark X-Men, but I am so not above popping a squat in one of the comfy chairs at B&N and diving into a stack of Dark Reign trades in order to remain in the loop.
I try not to leave the space station too often unless I get really desperate for an aguas frescas from the HEB in my ‘hood. Instead, I choose to sit locked in orbit reading more and more comics so that I may gather the wisdom necessary to pass judgment on the masses scurrying about the blue marble below. Comics have the answers to every problem facing society today. Here are a few comics/nerd goings on that threaten to shatter the very fabric of reality and how they should be handled according to Nerd Revolutionary Doctrine:
It’s no secret that parents are finding it harder and harder to make time to share with their children. Americans are working longer hours than ever before. Millions of Americans spend huge chunks of their lives commuting. It’s tough to make quality time before you even begin to figure in for porn.
And clearly, America loves porn.
Recent studies simply shut down once researchers realized all they had to do was pencil in “all of them” when trying to quantify what percentage of adult Americans watch internet porn. American zeal at the workplace and our voracious desire for exploitative sexual online content makes running a family a tougher balancing act than ever.
But that could be changing.
He was the first character to fly faster than a speeding bullet. He was more powerful than a locomotive. And he wore his undies on the outside. He was the most popular and best selling character for most of the Golden Age of Comic Books. At his peak he boasted a circulation of 1.3 million every month. The cover of his comic proclaimed his book to be the”Largest Circulation of Any Comic Magazine.” He was the first comic book super hero to be immortalized on celluloid.
I am, of course, describing Captain Marvel. Captain Marvel is the superhero who would of, could of and maybe should have been the America icon Superman was destined to be.
As the first comic book movie review for the site I believe it is important to set a precedent of honesty and openness, and it is with that in mind that I admit the following.
I am not an Iron Man fanboy.
Iron Man has never interested me in the comics. While he was given the unique twist that his own body, specifically his heart, is his greatest weakness—an Achilles valve that sets him apart in a world of super men— Tony Stark has been a third tier Marvel antique for decades. It wasn’t until the seventies that a creative team did anything remotely memorable with the character and even then we were merely left with an abusive alcoholic grossly unfit for his station. (Oh yeah, and the concept of specialized armor. ToyBiz says “thanks.”)
(Psst. Don’t worry. I’m going to give it a positive review.)
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SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! Be forewarned: this special episode of the PodCore NerdCast is intended for those that have already viewed Iron Man 2 by whatever means necessary. Recorded mere minutes after a midnight premiere of the film, the Nerdcore Comedy Tour and friends assembled at the “studio” for an open discussion of our immediate reactions. Our favorite moments (many of which catsuit related) are shared and pontificated upon alongside our minor disappointments (none of which catsuit related).
DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS SPOILCAST IF SUCH CANDOR OFFENDS YOU! I’M TOTALLY SERIOUS ABOUT THAT, FOLKS. TOTALLY. |
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I was reading through next week’s comic book releases today, and I had to ask myself something I have asked many times before:
How is that in comics, the stupidest thing ever is so often simultaneously the awesomest thing ever?
Batman in caveman times just sounds stupid. But Batman wearing a giant prehistoric bat skull for a cowl and an actual dead bat on his chest as a bat-symbol is freaking irresistible.
The Return of Bruce Wayne hits the stand next week. It turns out that Bruce Wayne never actually died, he just got lost in time. I’m going to keep that one in my back pocket to deal with any dead pet situations that might arise in my possible parenting future.
“Goldie is ok, son.” I’ll say. “She isn’t dead, she’s just lost in time. For goldfish, toilets are like time machines.”
You learn something new every day. And today I learned that the Punisher simply has to go to war with Tony Soprano. And their are solid historical reasons.
It is pretty easy to throw out reasons that a Punisher vs. The Sopranos mini-series, maxi-series or one shot could make for compelling reading:
1.The Sopranos is a beloved American name brand at this point. Tony Soprano rolling around in the dirt and shooting it out with the Punisher would attract big time media attention and reader interest. With the money and exposure that would be involved, it is easy to see top talent jumping on board. And it would attract a lot of Sopranos fans who otherwise would never think to buy a comic book. Top talent + new readers = many, many more True Believers.
The late 1980’s were a dark time for a kid trying to convince his friends that comics were cool. Chris Claremont was churning out instant classics for the X-Men, Frank Miller and Alan Moore were doing some wild shit that nobody had seen before (Ed. Note: I refuse to write “redefining the industry”) and five dollars could get you three can’t miss monthlies and a turn at the five for a dollar bin at your LCS. But the only kids who knew it were the spazzes, nerds and misfits.
At least that was the perception. Read the rest of this entry »
